“When life gives you pineapples, take them because, hey, free pineapples”
* I want to start of this story by telling you that this pineapple was fully skinned so there is nothing gross about my story you germaphobes.
It’s a rainy, dismal day and I need to take my beautiful white, all too stain-able, puppy out for a walk. I curse at the litter lying around the doorway of my apartment building; cigarettes, Tim Horton’s cup( It’s Canada’s favourite coffee shop for those of you who are unfamiliar) a McDonald’s bag and other odds and ends. Either someone decided to have a disgusting meal in the rain or there were multiple vandals.
Since I am not a janitor, I walked Thief and my cute butt right by it, trotting on our merry way. Short story even shorter, he did his business, sniffed some things, tripped me as usual, and we made our way back.
Now, I don’t know if it was the lighting or my general interest to find more discarded litter, but I took a closer look and found a treasure. A marvelously, fully intact, golden, pineapple – in December no less.
I shiftily looked around to make sure no one would see my crime; I swiped the pineapple, booking it back into my apartment, laughing hysterically the entire way, which pretty much blew my cover of secrecy anyway. I took it inside and devoured it instantly.
And you know what, it was the best damn pineapple I’ve ever had.